The Art Of Being Tactful

The Art Of Being Tactful

Children under age 8 are the only ones who can get away with a straight to your gut honest comment without embarrassment. Adults, unfortunately, do not have that luxury. To complicate matters further, there are a couple of ways to be honest – be brutally frank or gently tactful. Either way, you’re telling the truth but each approach will get you two different reactions. Some situations call for the former but most people prefer the latter. So, practice being tactful. It’s a bit more complicated than bluntly saying what you mean but the key is in the words that you’ll use.

Let’s say you are asked to comment on someone’s get-up: instead of saying “that all yellow outfit makes you look like a giant mango” say “I think that yellow top would be great with jeans!” or “why don’t you try black slacks and clunky black beads for accessories?” The idea is to offer alternatives without belittling their own choice. Your words also spare them from any embarrassment and at the end of the day, that’s what matters more than the actual question.

Being tactful is also being conscious on when to speak or to remain silent. You found out that your boss is having an affair for example. Being tactful means keeping it to yourself as much as you can and not to fuel the company grapevine. It’s his business and shouldn’t encroach in both your jobs. However, if you find yourself uncomfortable with lying to his family or covering up his mistakes at work, try and weigh the chances of personally talking to him. If you do not feel that confident, then request to transfer or find another job. Show tact also when dealing in office politics. Remember to guard your tongue if one is bad-mouthing another but at the same time, try and diffuse the situation with a placating comment. Speak with tact also when you feel strongly about something and not just blurt out your idea. You’ll get a better response that way.

Being tactful is also refraining from showing bias or partiality. The worse that you can do in your family is to show that you favor one child over another. The consequences of that would ripple in their life endlessly! It might not be as tragic with friends but it still matters when you show that you prefer the company of one more than the other's.

Honesty is still the best policy. But maybe, nowadays, it is better to say “Honesty, with a bit of tact, is the best policy.”