Bullies Not Allowed!

Bullies Not Allowed!

You probably think that only children suffer from bullying. Wrong -- even adults are subjected to bullying. Consider this scenario: a group in your office wants to have casual drinks every Friday night but you don’t want to join. At first, you get cajoled into joining. If you refuse again, then you get the teasing for your ‘holier-than-thou’ attitude. If you stick by your decision, then you’ll probably get the cold or silent treatment. Worse is the guilt tripping where you’ll be accused of ruining the company morale! You’ll end up getting the pressure to join just to avoid any more of this treatment. That’s bullying.

It happens even outside the workplace. School committees or fund raising community activities, for example, where you don’t get a choice on what you want to do. Sometimes a friend or a relative volunteer you for work without even consulting you first. In both cases, you are forced to work because the guilt trip will be worse when it comes to people you have a relationship with. That’s bullying.

A bully sees opportunities to make you feel wrong by not giving into them. They love the superior feeling that they get when they can force somebody to do what they want. Former US First Lady Eleanor Roosevelt said: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” so if you value your own self-esteem, don’t allow others to make you feel small.

Do not let anybody railroad you into something that you’re not comfortable doing. That is the best way to stand up to a bully. Put your foot down and say ‘no, I don’t want to do this’. You can do that and you must to do that for your own self-worth. Remember that you are your own best champion. You are worthy of respect and having respect means others should treat your stand on an issue as your own space. They shouldn’t give you grief about it. They shouldn’t force their own choices. Instead they should allow you to choose what you want and how you want it. If it involves you then you should have a say in it.

Again, standing up to a bully could be as easy as firmly disagreeing and walking away from them. If you’re lucky, they’ll get the message and leave you alone. If that doesn’t work, the best advice is to get others to know about your stand on things and ask their support. You would be surprised how these bullies will back down if you show them that you have a backbone. These bullies will realize that you’re not afraid to disagree with them and whatever hold they have is lost. You will finally be free.