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Raising Kids: The Inspired Way It is normal for parents to want the best for their children. You would want them to experience the best whether in school, extra-curricular activities, or both. Young kids especially find tremendous happiness in seeing their parents happy. They crave for attention and would do anything to gain their parents’ recognition and approval. Take a step back and ask yourself this nagging question: how far can you push your little one without being too hard on him? How can you ensure that he performs at his peak without setting himself up for disappointment? The key is to know the difference between motivation and pressure. Over competitive parents have higher expectations from their children. They are more particular with good grades and academic performance than the feelings of their children. Concerns like how happy their children are in school or in participating in school activities take a back seat for these types of parents. Many parents continue to commit mistakes. For instance, some parents think that they are giving enough ‘motivation' when they express dissatisfaction when their children get a grade of B. Parents have high expectations, always expecting their children to get straight As in school. In worst cases, some parents even ask their kids to come up with explanations for their 'unacceptable' behavior. Some parents think that this will motivate them to think for themselves and take responsibility for their actions. With younger children, coming up with explanations is difficult. More often than not, kids do not always know why they delivered below expectations. Some parents also commit the mistake of comparing their child to other kids thinking that they will become inspired. They compare and refer to other children's successes and place them side by side their own kids' performance. They tell their kids, "See? Casey can do it perfectly. You should, too!" While these kinds of statements push your kid to do better just to win your approval, it places a lot of pressure on his back and might set him up for the pain of failure. Given this situation, this robs the child of the feeling of accomplishment where he will enjoy what he is doing or realize the merits of performing well. Your child will do what you want him to do just because he wants to please you or is afraid of displeasing or disappointing you. Competition is okay, but it should never be at the expense of your child's psychological well being. This is especially true when he is still very young, as this could become his foundation and guiding principle as he grows up. Overly competitive kids, raised by parents who expect too much, usually end up miserable when they become adults. They have difficulty in appreciating things. They are driven by unrealistic expectations. Motivation and inspiration are vital in ensuring that your child grows up happy and well. Both are crucial to helping your little one become the best that he can be and reach his fullest potential. You must remember, however, that you should not overdo the 'motivation' part as you might be unintentionally pushing your child too much. If he fails, help him dust himself off, move on, and try one more time. Do not berate him for the mistakes he committed. Do not compare your child to those who have not erred. Instead, teach him never to give up. Persistence is more important. Tell him that he should be prepared for the next opportunity to take another shot. If you are positive, your child will be positive. The happier his childhood
experience, the better the person he will be. Being a parent is no easy
task, but you can try to ease the challenge by telling yourself and
your child to always look at the bright side of every situation. |
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