Saying “No” Creatively

Saying “No” Creatively

Sometimes, you just find yourself buried in a ton of tasks because you didn’t say “no”. Doesn’t it just bug you that your day stretches into a week without sleep because you couldn’t refuse your boss’ asking you to walk his dog?

Or you may not like the task to be done, but you just choose to hold your tongue and say “yes” then grumble inwardly. Rocking the boat by saying “no” to a task is too much work and hassle, right?

But then saying “no” is not complicated, when you think about it. The word just contains two letters after all, and we get lots of practice saying it to errant babies and dogs. However, when saying “no” already means offending the other person, boy would you think twice!

And yet, it is very important that we say no when your plate is full, and when you don’t like the way things are going. For your sanity’s sake, above all. And so, you ask, how exactly do you say “no,” with all firmness and conviction, without offending the other person?

Simple. Offer alternatives.

Let’s say your friend needs help with her PC, and you have a packed Saturday. Ask your friend if she wants to do it some other day instead. If you honestly do not want to help your friend with her pc, suggest the name of another friend who can help her.

Here are guidelines when you want to offer alternatives:

1) When: if you really want to do it, but your schedule is just packed, choose an alternative date.

2) Where: if you can’t do the task in the place your friend suggested, suggest doing the task somewhere else.

3) Who: if either you really can’t do the job or you don’t want to do the job at all, suggest someone else who will do it.

4) What: if you don’t like the task and an alternative task can be done instead, ask for it.

5) How: if you don’t like the way a task is to be done, suggest how else you think it could or should be done.

Do remember, though, that you should employ ethics in giving alternatives. You should remember that when you have said “yes” to someone or something else, you should stick to the first one you have said “yes” to, and give second priority to the one that has conflict with the first one, unless the second task or request is infinitely more important. You should also remember that you have to make sure that the alternative will work out. There is no sense in frustrating a person’s trust in you, no matter what.

Saying “no” may seem to be socially daunting, but in offering alternatives, you kill two birds with one stone: you make yourself a little saner, and you keep your friends and loved ones happy by still giving them a solution nonetheless. Remember, win-win situations are the key to keeping this world a better place.