Being able to influence people makes you feel important. This is especially true when people give in to your want willingly.

For other people to give in willingly, they must get a fair deal from you. In other words, they must be able to get something in return. They must also be able to feel important upon giving in to your want. This is one secret of influencing people effectively.

Everybody likes to be complimented - for looking good, for a job well done, for doing a favor, and for many other reasons. Part of human nature is the need or desire to feel important by being praised or appreciated. In many instances, being appreciated is more important than monetary compensation for a work well done.

On the other hand, criticism has its repercussions. Instead of being inspired, you tend to become defensive. Criticism defuses the desire to perform better the next time. Criticism makes people feel unimportant.

As you will see, the effect of criticism is the opposite of appreciation. Instead of being encouraged to perform better the next time, your interest will seem to diminish, making you psychologically and emotionally dejected.

If you know how it feels to be criticized, you wouldn't do it to others. Although different people have varying degrees of tolerance when it comes to criticism, the effects are still counter productive. This is especially true when it comes to employee-employer relationship.

Let's say you want to influence an employee to perform his work favorably. In this case, you have to make him do his work efficiently without criticizing him. When good performance has been achieved, show your appreciation, even if you are his superior. When you compliment his performance, it will raise his self-esteem. That will benefit the company as a whole.

Let's touch on the issue of people influenced to do what you want because you hold a high authority; meaning, you are using power or money. Although it is not your fault to be influential, being so may make people do what you want even if you do not want to use this kind of influence. Somehow, when you want others to do what you want out of their own free will, you will see it in their eyes or body movements.

There's a distinct difference between influencing people to do what you want willingly and influencing people to do what you want because you are powerful. This difference could be the absence of importance on the latter one as far as the other person is concerned. In the absence of importance, there seems to be a tinge of coercion when you ask a person to do what you want. It raises the questions: Would he agree to do what I want if I am not rich? Would he do it if I'm not a powerful figure?

Somehow, you become doubtful of your own capability to influence people if you were neither rich nor powerful. There is one way to erase this doubt. You can test if you have what it takes to influence people, without using power or money, by approaching people whom you think do not know you.

It would be unfair to conclude that you do not have the qualities of influencing people when you are already rich or powerful. You wouldn't have reached this stature if you do not have the qualities to influence people; unless of course, you became rich by winning in a lottery or through inheritance.

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